I swear i'll be a damn good teacher!!!

we were swore in yesterday, Sunday December 14, 2008, at Capitol University gym as professional teachers for passing the board exam last September 2008. I think I overdressed for the situation...i envisioned a cross between sex and the city and a korean fashion outcome...the outcome turned out to be me...just damn awkward at wearing a full skirt and an unmade hair. i was suppose to bring out a rock chic style but i failed mesirably...but its ok. i'm used to messing up anything...hehehe anyway after the occasion i just changed clothes...i'll try again next time...im gonna don that dress again and with a bang! I gotta learn some tricks to be a girl...

anyway the occasion was "ok"... i thought it wasnt gonna take long. Damn, i paid almost 1,500 pesos for the whole thing and all we got for entertainment was a dance number from PRC Cagayan de Oro's long-faced and quite unapprochable staff. Now I wonder where the 250pesos for entrance ticket went. I mean why did they have to go to a private venue when there are public places where it can be done for free! hmmmm...red tape red tape red tape....bad example for the new teachers. there were a lot of board passers in there... they sure did make a bundle or two because the money they charged us, not all were issued official reciepts for. Aside from the 1,050 reflected in the official receipt we were made to pay 250pesos for the ticket to the venue, 21 pesos for the form, another 21pesos for the documentary stamp, 75 pesos in the cashier which wasnt stated what it was for, not to mention the 100p charge for the photos. If the government is really serious about fighting corruption they should check on charges like these by one of their branches. Well I complain formally? No idea. I don't think anything good will come out of it anyway.

them talking about doing our jobs seriously and honestly certainly made me smirk just as I did when I watched the stupid dance number. They should've just let us blabber through the oath form and get it over it without much funfare. It would've save us the money and the time.

I'm not saying all these just because i felt bad about my dress during the event. Hehe.

my christmas wishlist

1. a dgcam...a dslr would be awesome but something affordable from canon would be cool.
2. books from esabil allende and neil gaiman and the like
3. trip to somewhere...anywhere
4. chocolates!
5. a cool sewing machine

i dont believe in santa claus or winning the lotto but who knows what might just happen? (i'm betting on nothings-gonna-happen scenario) but anyway its fine with me....

OH WHEN?!!!!

I WANNA GO TO JAPAN AND LIVE IN THE LAND OF COOL AND KAWAI CRAFTING!!!! 

bloody monday

this is our beloved cat who was a stray before he was adopted... he died last monday after a night of pain for him and for us. we couldnt bring him to any animal hospital because we simply dont have that in our town. the vet was supposed to be summoned on Monday but chappy died on Monday 4 am. We miss him so much, he'd met my mom from the office, or just snuggles up, or begs for treats... we just miss him.

my lil bro buried him beneath the trees in from of our house where birds love to congregate...

some good stuff on free tv

we had our cable disconnected a long time ago and can live without tv, we had no tv at home for almost 2 years after our old tv died. However since quiting my job I watch some tv from time to time to kill time and boredom. If the show makes some sense i set through it. I noticed though that its only the animes that i actually look forward to and some tv shows on RPN like Chuck. Recently I just discovered Camera Cafe on GMA after their morning show. i just love the show its really one of those rare show that has brains on free tv. Underrated but superb actors like Epy Quezon, Bearwin Melli, Patrecia Ysmael, to name a few. I just hope GMA wont pull a plug on this show because shows with brains hardly survive in the brainless shows-laden free channels. (Example: that art show hosted by epy quezon and tado in channel two.) i'm willing to drink as many nescafe as i can if it helps...

MOA AND THE MILF

i haven't posted anything in a long time coz i wasnt up to it but right now i think i have a lot of reasons to...

first up is the MOA to set up a Muslim state here in Mindanao. Its PLAIN STUPED!!!! what makes them think it will bring peace? It will only bring war and awaken the race related skirmishes here. To think that it has already died down eons ago and now here's this? I dont know whoever cooked up the whole thing? Its a blatant treachery to everyone, and like a spit on the Constitution! The President obviously doesnt respect the constitution nor cares about the people of this nation. And there's Esperon whom I think is a war freak, why was he in the peace panel anyway? MILF is a terrorist group and the people in the government is endulging them. Does this mean in order to get what you want out of the government just bear arms and kill ennocent people to sway the weak President? To the Supreme Court...please kill this MOA and save this country from the President's stupedity...

the Olympics is on going and I dont think were getting any medals... Palakasan ata ang ticket to get in there...heck i'm not fond of sports anyway...

Bob Ong where ever you are mag release kana nang bagong book please!

...hmmmm that's it muna...

craftygurl

i've been a crafty girl since i was a wee girl...seeing my mom and dad make things with their won hands...from toys to clothes...and growing up with not much money to spare, sowed the seeds of craftiness in us siblings and we're just thankful for it. right now were working on our garden and i'm hatching an idea off opening a small crafty shop at home... i'm still getting used to getting over procrastenitaion, i think its the yellow paint on the walls...hmmm...so anyway we're making a lot of progress and i know we will get there eventually....

boys (a poem)

I grew up with boys
I grew up wanting to be a boy
Until a boy unknowingly thought me how to be a girl
That same boy thought me the ecstasy of desire
And thought me the name of the Sayaws
As they hovered over us one rainy night

Another boy introduced me to Van Gogh
And made me wish I can be with him under
The Starry Night for even just once
I miss that boy though I’ve never seen him even once

The memories of them rekindled memories
Of boys who’s lives intertwined with mine for a moment or two

One taught me Rock
Another took advantage of my naïveté
One used to hunt me in a dream
A dream so true that it seems to be an unconscious memory
One made me think of growing old with him
An idea I thought would never cross my mind
One group of three made me wish I was one of them
And live a life of care free fun and girl free worries

I grew up with boys
I grew up wanting to be a boy
Until a boy unknowingly thought me how to be a girl
That same boy thought me the ecstasy of desire
And thought me the name of the Sayaws
As they hovered over us one rainy night

Another boy introduced me to Van Gogh
And made me wish I can be with him under
The Starry Night for even just once
I miss that boy though I’ve never seen him even once

Boys are boys
Boys maybe be wicked, chivalric, addictive, cunning
Boys are boys
I wanted to be one
Boys will be boys
I’ll never be one
Thank heavens

Boardinghouse Specialties

This morning I took to looking back to my college years in Malaybalay, Bukidnon. I stayed in a boardinghouse while I was there. One of the things I remember is the food we cooked up while holed up there on a weekly budget of 500 pesos. I’m luckier compared to some who gets less. With such a limited budget one is forced to find ways to eat decently and still have money to spare for other student escapades. Right now I’ll share with you the recipes that made us survive. I just cooked two of them for our lunch today. These recipes don’t have formal names but they came out of student resourcefulness and are quite delectable for starving and budget-constrained boardinghouse master chiefs and cooks.

The objective of these recipes is that the ingredients must be cheap and can be easily sourced. And can get done in five to then minutes or less. Go ahead and try it. Feel free to tweak the ingredients or to use MSG if you can’t live without it. The point is for you to be able to eat beyond the usual fair of bought viand from the friendly carenderia, instant noodles, fried egg or “invisible chicken”. If you’re wondering what the latter is. Its simple. Just boil water and throw in a Knorr Chicken cube. And walah! The amazing Invisible chicken to go with your 1 cup of rice.


Scrambled Ampalaya

1 egg
1 medium sized ampalaya thinly sliced
1 spring onion
Oil
Salt

1. Heat oil in a pan. Suite onion. Sprinkle salt.
2. Throw in ampalaya. Don’t add water. Lower heat. Cover pan. Let ampalaya be cooked by its own steam.
3. Add a pinch of salt. If you have some spare powdered black pepper, add some too.
4. Pour beaten egg.
5. Stir constantly and thoroughly until evenly cooked. Don’t let egg to stick to pan. Remove from fire.


Sardines with Egg

1 egg
1 can Spicy sardines
Salt
Oil
Onion
Garlic

1. Mash sardines with spoon. Add beaten egg and a pinch of salt. Scramble. Set aside.
2. In a heated pan suite onion and garlic in oil.
3. Add a pinch of salt or to taste.
4. Throw in the scrambled egg and crushed sardines.
5. Stir concoction constantly. Mix sure nothing will stick to pan. Until evenly cooked. Remove from pan.

Tortang Kalabasa

1 egg
Mashed kalabasa from some left over (or boil some if you have enough time)
Corn starch
Soy sauce
Ketchup (for dip)


1. Pre-heat oil in pan.
2. Mix mashed kalabasa, scrambled egg, soy sauce, and corn starch evenly.
3. Fry.



Corned beef and Potatoes

1 small can of corned beef
Potatoes sliced in tiny cubes
Oil
Onion
Salt

1. Suite Onion and cubed potatoes in oil, add some water if you wish, until potato is done.
2. Add corned beef. Mix and stir until done.
3. Throw in some onion rings.

Tortang Left-Over Noodles

Left-over noodles or instant pancit canton from lat night’s dinner
1 egg
Oil
Salt

1. Mix left-over noodles with scrambled egg.
2. Add a pinch of salt.
3. Fry.

Tortang Okra (My personal contribution)

Thinly, diagonally sliced okra
Egg
Salt
Oil

1. Mix Okra and scrambled egg.
2. Add salt.
3. Fry.

And our take at the very nutritious pinakbet:

Pinakbet Boardinghouse Style

One pack pre-sliced and mixed vegetables for pinakbet(We used to buy one pack at 5pesos each)
1 pack Instant Pancit Canton (Extra Hot for me)
Water
Salt
Oil
Onion
Garlic
Soy sauce

1. Heat oil. Suite garlic and onion.
2. Stir in vegetables.
3. Add water and soy sauce. Cover until cooked.
4. When vegetables starts to resemble a decent pinakbet add the Instant Pancit Canton. Simmer.
5. Remove from fire.
6. Prepare the Pancit canton seasoning. Mix in the pinakbet and canton mixture.

Misua and Tinapa

2 packs misua (the one-piso-each-pack variety)
1 can Sardines (separate sauce from fish)
water
Ginger
Salt
Onion

1. Together with sardine’s sauce, salt, ginger and onion allow water to boil
2. Add misua and fish. Sprinkle salt. Allow to simmer. Remove from fire.


Fried Bagyo Beans

I haven’t tried this recipe but I got this from my male boardmates.

Bagyo beans
Scrambled egg
Oil

1. Preheat oil in a pan.
2. Dip bagyo beans in scrambled egg.
3. Fry.

Tortang Kamatis

Finely chopped tomatoes
Egg, scrambled
Oil
Salt

1. Mix finely chopped tomatoes, egg and salt.
2. Fry.


Crunchy Noodle Cookies

1 pack instant noodles
Egg
Salt.

1. Preheat oil.
2. Break noodles into small pieces.
3. Mix with scrambled egg. Add salt.
4. Fry.

of quiting and regretting

there are a lot of stuff we spewed out, which can be blamed in part to to our naivete and the stupidity that comes with being a kid. stuff that sometimes make us cringe, or other times make us laugh at the sheer stupidity of it all. i think though it depends on what part of the day, the weather...stuff like that...sometimes you wonder if it could be the devil holding up to your face the reflecting mirror of the past...its makes me mutter courses under my breath, makes my wanna shout in anger at no one in particular...
the thing is i've said and done a lot of stuff like trusting the wrong people, saying the wrong things at the wrong time, making the wrong moves..mistakes that make us human... i realized that no matter how stuped those things maybe at least i learned something. and i get relief at the thought that its only natural...that for deciding against living under a rock this is merely one of the consolations Life throws at you...
as i look back i regret some stuff but i realized its wrong... regret is useless...i wouldnt help me at all...all i need it acceptance and forgiveness. accept that it happened and forgive myself for it...thats the one and only choice i have or allow myself to be destroyed by useless memories...

as the days go by...

i had a boring day today so i decided to go online..and what did i find out?
it really shocked me but one of my barkadas in college got married recently (dang she didnt even send me an invite)..anyway its really shocking sometimes coz this means we're growing old man...

i just saw the photos in friendster.com. it used to be that we were barely out of high school. and the funny thing was that some of our school mates actually thought we were into some lisbian relationship. ewwww. i mean i dont judge others who egnage in it but us?no way...anyway we've moved on since then...i wish all the best for her...

view from my hammock

i'm jobless and pennyless

but i'm taking my time

i'm taking it easy

there's no hurry

just go with the flow

i say...

views from my hammock

i quit.yes i finally quit my job and i couldnt be more happier! i thought i'd be sad but i'm not. I actually think i shouldve quit earlier....
I'm back at home and can go get a swim anytime i want, do what ever i wanna do. I'm back to begging for money from my mom but that's ok.right now i'm figuring out what steps take up next. right now i'm just taking it slowly. I still have to take care of a lot of things and i have plans but i'm in no hurry right now.... oh yeah!

THIS HAS TO STOP NOW!!!!

The uproar have ceased. Its all back to normal for this sick people. The news have moved on and so does for this murderers and liars. This people have terrorized the island of Dinagat. They have murdered and got away with it because these assholes are being protected by the corrupt politicians who care for nothing but the sure votes they will get from this cult's blinded members. Some who cant get out of thier clutches for fear of bloody retribution. A lot of people have gone a lot of horrors but where the heck is the government who sworns to fight for their behalf?

And the sickest part of all is that this people were actually given their own province!?How the heck do you think will they run it?

When will the world take notice again? when will the government take action? when will WE see their end?

.....

....

goodbyes
.
verbal equevalent to the period
.
end
.
if a period is a sign of an ended sentence
.
goodbye is the word for a friendship
.
forever to be changed by distance
.
of loves broken forever to be nothing
.
but wasted memory
.
period
.
a tiny insignificant dot
.
goodbye
.
a seven-letter not so insignificant word
.
let slide
.
comprehend it
.
let it sink in
.
goodbye
.
G O O D B Y E
.

POSER

To Nanay Toria

My beloved maternal grandmother passed away last February fifteen. I was a bleak day for us but we knew she is in a better place now. For her eulogy I was tasked to read a causin's poem. I've admired my Nanay ever since but looking back now made me admire her even more.

She was a strong willed woman. She believed in independence, in men and women being equal. She taught her children especialy the girls, to be self-reliant. In short she was a feminist without knowing it.

I remember i've been wanting to visit Bohol for a long time but I just didnt have the guts to go there without company. But last Monday 03/02 i decided to take the plunge. It's now or never. By Tuesday, after work I went straight to the Pier and bought a ticket for Bohol. I wasnt alone though, I brought my boyfriend along as a gift for his birthday. That was his first time to visit a place outside Cebu. Why the guts? I took into my heart Nanay's principle: If you have the guts nothing is imposible.

So there we were. Clueless about how to get around the island. Relying only on officemates serving as text tour guides. It was fun. We payed a habal-habal driver from Tubigon to take us around the island. My body is aching right now but its worth it all. All this i dedicate to the strong, proud spirit of my grandmother.

another light bulb in my head..

i'm fond of going to second hand bookshops like BookSale. There I dig through their bin full of magazines to look for interesting and informative magazines. As I've stated before, I'm a mag addict... My latest finds are mostly crafting mags... Like CRAFTZINE and CLOTH.PAPER.SCISSORS ... the photo of my copies are shown here. The mags pushed me to do more things craft-related. Looking at the mag stimulates creative juices in me. When my dgcam is fixed i'll be able to post my creations here.

And the funny thing is that its only when I came across these mags that I realized the thing I was doing with old books, altering them, had a name and that its actually considered an art. Since having the books i'm challenged to make my journal more beautiful and cooler

WARNING: They are not the type your grandma digs.. they are cool and simply stimulating. Ultra modern yet timeless. Too bad though I couldnt seem to find them in our bookstores for up to date editions..but if I could find one, maka afford kaya ko?

WHAT THA!!!!

When i started posting this blog I never really thought someone would read it so i dont really pay any attention to details or reread my post before publishing it but shocks!!! When i checked on it today I had no less than THE Ambeth Ocampo commenting on my entry about his books. Damn it was full of grammatical error and wrong spellings! (My entry I mean and not Prof Ocampo's comments.)Yikes! I edited the whole things and replaced some words and restructured some...

Anyway I do hope he'll produce more books. I'll be one o fthe first people to line up and buy it.

I'm still giddy with the comment and at the thought that he came across my posting on his books... hehehe...

I'm starstrucked.... obviously.

Buy me this book pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee.....

what i'm currently feeding my fried brains

Thanks to my job that requires nothing but for me to eat american insults and get paid for it, i can now afford to by books and can still have some penny to spare for drinking sessions and food trips. Unlike in college when buying a book means eating below my means. anyway as i was saying, since Powerbooks opened a branch in SM here in Cebu i've been buying books buy Ambeth Ocampo. So far i've read Aguinaldo's Breakfast, Rizal Without the Overcoat, Bonifacio's Bolo and Bones of Contention. I was so ecstatic when i came across Aguinaldo's Breakfast because i've been wishing to buy one since i first saw a copy in our MCTC judge's office. I used to go to my mom's office every afternoon so i can sneak into the judge's chamber when his not around so i can devour it. I never thought until then that Philippine history could be interesting. Reading it again after all these years I still felt the same fascination like before. Ocampo's writing and treatment of history is just so refreshing he is being educational without sounding elitest....and boring. Without sounding like an old boring history teacher that made us detest our history subjects. I couldnt find his other books but I do hope they'll come my way soon.

Reading his books makes me want to teach Philippine History. If i'll have the chance I certainly wont let it pass. If only history teachers and the books they use are as engaging as Ambeth and his works.... Aguinaldo's Breakfast awakened the hunger for Philippine History in me, Rizal Without the Overcoat made me respect the National Hero and eat my words about him being a US sponsored whatever, Bonifacio's Bolo made me even more determined about digging Philippine hisory and Bone's of Contention made me cry for Bonifacio and made him more human too. I just wish everybody would read history so they'll know how to act as citizens of this country... so we can all learn how not to run a country...its just sad to say that most of us today still failed to see what our duties as citizens. And that like Aguinaldo's officials, the politicians and our so-called leaders today are still running our country like those Spanish Colonialists assholes used to.

where shall i go next?

haha i was bored so i searched for pictures on google using the title to this blog...one picture caught my attention... is this a sign? yikes i've been contemplating about getting a post-grad course like maybe Law or Masters in Lit.. but anyway i'll say, i'll definitely consider going back to school... i think going back to school is really exciting... i'm gonna use my brains again and i bet this time i'll really be burrying my head in studies and not bum around like i did in college.. this time i'm gonna be a whiz...yikes...

THE HEART OF LIFE IS GOOD INDEED!!!!

Heath Ledger is dead. A very close ka tropa will soon be leaving for Singapore for the silver lining. And soon each of us will be quiting our jobs to go back to where we came from or to go to other places we've never been to before. Time can be cruel. Love can be hurtful. The thought of each of us starting over again is something scary but that's reality. I know we'll eventually find other gangs to hang out with and we'll all be reduced to mere names in each others' phonebooks. Faces of memories. Of time long ago. Of music, of beer bubbles, of merry chatters.

This is exactly what i hated most about meeting new friends. Long ago i used to be not so emotional about friendships because i've always known it'll eventually end as reality always does. i've learned to be weak since then and opened myself to being emotionally attached to people i'll eventually part with. i've accepted reality, i've learned to enjoy each moment because what is life made of? moments of course. and maybe this time i'll shed a tear or two-for the first time.

Lipon Anduyo Percussion Ensemble

Just saw this group perform in SM Cebu Northwing today...i must say they are simply cool. People actually stopped and listen. i stayed until they were done. it would've been cooler if the place was set for the performance but then again its a mall so the percussion wouldnt be as nice as say outdoors or the concert hall. anyways i wonder if they can make a performance where in they can let the audience participate aside from the usual clapping... anyways they were cool. not the usual guitar and drums set up...i love variety in music...

bucket list

i'm going on a road trip this year.

to bleed or not to bleed...

"to bleed or not to bleed. that is the question. and it is your decision."

i have this girlfriend who loves to fall in love. but then when the dude she falls for will express interest she would dismiss it as mere "pasakay". she ignores them and when they stop pursuing she'd get heartbroken. isnt it just plain stupid? thats why i dont get girls sometimes. they or rather, we confuse me. i'm tired of dishing out unsolicited advices on love and all that shit. i havae more shit to deal with. i dont ask for advice when it comes to my heart-related woes. i have me to admonish myself.

and right now i'm also overwhelmed with this decision about my work and my life as a whole. i want to my life to be under control it doesnt have to be by me. a Higher Being is needed in this case. i just want to stop living on the edge. i want it to be controled least i'll end up dead. *sigh* how i wish my woes are as simple as heartbreaks. i'd replace my current woe for a million heartbreaks and i'd still chose the latter. i'm sick of being me at this point. i just want to undo the tangles i caught myself in. that's all. please give me a million heartbreaks instead!!!

the smoke has cleared (somewhat)

later today i had this realization of what i want to do this year. i realized i wanted to taste what it's like to be a real teacher. i want to teach college this year. that's why i'm determined to take Masters. Preferably something that deals with Literature. I'm excited.

that realization hit me while i was browsing the classical literature section of National Bookstore. I figured i want to feel the excitement of discussing the writing that awakens the human side of me. i want to be mentally stimulated again. i want to focus on something that i really love. that is learning something new. i think i'll forever be a student. seeking to learn more as i get on with life. and for me to that the only job that will allow me that luxury is teaching. there' s just no other way.

so i figured that i must start checking on schools that offers something related to Lit. something i can attend this year. i'm really excited. i hope for the best.

it maybe wierd now but i seem to miss school. will at least those subjects i love anyway...

what's on the next bend?

i went to have a urine test yesterday. if i'm pregnant that should confirm it. but i dont think i am. i think i'm just freaking out prematurily but i'm just making sure. the thing is that everytime i think of the possibility of being pregnant right now really makes my gut jump up my throat. anyways... i'll be waiting for the result and i hope for the best and i'll never ever again subject myself to this delimna again. i'll be using condoms...joke... i'm saying no to sex until the right time comes from now on.

anyway...i'm excited about quiting my job because that would mean i'll have the time to start a business probably back home. i wasnt really sold on going back home but i think i have to. my life is spinning out of control in here. the job is killing me. the pay doesnt even matter anymore. i have plans for the next few months...my target date would be march 15...by then its quits for me here... its uncertain what's gonna happen to me without a job but i'm saving up for it. right now i'm carefully planning out my fall back...

advantages of being ugly...

i am not visually pleasing. to put it bluntly i'm ugly. it didnt bother me much since i have a mom who says i'm beautiful. even if i know it is said out of her innate maternal blindness when it comes to this matter i believe her anyway.

highschool is the real training ground for the real world. its where you'll find out that its advantagious for one to be visually pleasing. it gets you to high and far places. but of course as we all know most of these gifted people doesnt have much brains in their heads. take my older brother for example. he is the ultimate crush ng bayan. he is tall, artistahin-looking, even got a band. but what ticks me off is that he was totally brainless back then. he takes more time to groom himself up than to actually tickle his brains to work. anyway good thing for him his learn to use his brains now and buy books during payday.

i once told him if i was born with his face and my brains i'm probably off to some far and high places by now...anyways...

people said most of the ugly ones like are smart because they have nothing else to boast about. like some sort of making up for what we lack. will, not really. the reason we took to filling up our brains is that since we dont spend much time looking at ourselves in the mirror or staying in public places for the purpose of being seen, we opted to reading books and learning stuff by ourselves instead.

sometimes i thank the heavens i'm born ugly. i'd rather be ugly than without brains. but sometimes though i took to not using my brains at all. i can see that in my past entries. anyways this must be one of those days that i feel smart and ugly...

new year new start?

its 2008. so what's up with it? it used to be that i never really thought about new years. of the year past drawing to a close and a new one dawning but now i do. i guess its a sign of aging but i really am seriously considering this. i view 2008 as year to finally grow. meaning being accountable for my actions. admitting that i have control over my actions and its effects. that i have the choice to choose. that i'm now an adult and live with it. that i am on my own now. and that running home to mama is not a choice anymore. i vow this year to be different. if 2007 was a year of missed opportunity, 2008 will be a year of opportunity taking. if 2007 is coated in mistakes, 2008 will be a year of starting over. if 2007 is a year of reluctant adulthood, 2008 will be a year of embracing it. if 2007 is a year of fear, 2008 will be a year of defeating it. this year will be my rebirth. i promise that things will be different for this year. this year will be different like no other years that passed.