me and the music

i'm a music lover..to me music is like food or sleep: it sustains me. It keeps me alive. Without music and shrivel up and die. Eversince, music has been with me. Through the gloomiest, darkest,happiest,highest moments of my life she's there. Music speaks to me like no other. She runs into my blood like drugs...i can go on and on about music because i cant get enough of it.



i'm into rock, jazz...any genre that has depth... basically i go beyond what the radio is playing... i constantly search for anything that speaks to me.



like right now i'm listening to New Radicals' Someday We'll Know, it reminds me so much of my tumultous years back in high school. This song by the way is the first song which pushed me to buy my first album ever. So if someone will ask me what was the first album i bought it would be Maybe You'd Been Brainwashed Too by the New radicals...too bad though they folded before you can finish saying the album's name. Gregg Alixander was a genius.. his songs were my jutes man. His songs still hits me and makes me look back wistfully at those years when i was battling demons and dragons inside me. Back then what i had were books and the music...i survived.



and the thing is Music will stick with you no matter what so crank up the volume baby...

incubus and my lifesongs

Dig is gonna be a song for my wedding...dont have to elaborate on it coz it plainly says it all


Dig

We all have a weakness
But some of ours are easy to identify.
Look me in the eye, and ask for forgiveness.
We'll make a pact to never speak that word again.
Yes, you are my friend.
We all have something that digs at us, at least we dig each other.

So when weakness turns my ego up
I know you'll count on the me from yesterday.

If I turn into another dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me.
Sing this song remind me that we'll always have each other when everything else is gone.

We all have a sickness that cleverly attaches and multiplies
No matter how we try.
We all have someone that digs at us, at least we dig each other.

So when sickness turns my ego up
I know you'll act as a clever medicine.
If I turn into another,dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me.
Sing this song!
Remind me that we'll always have each other when everything else is gone.
Oh, each other when everything else is gone.

ooooh....(15x)

If I turn into another dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me.
Sing this song remind me that we'll always have each other when everything else is gone.

Oh, each other when everything else is gone. (x2)

what is rock to me?

i read this article in philippine star about nu 107, this bunch of people were asked to define what rock is...to me rock is something that was with me when i was alone and confused, he was there when i was feeling like i was on top of the world and he was there when i was bloodied and scratched and i guess he'll forever be with me through it all like he always did...that's why i dont blame anyone of he'll say rock save him...i know...

time to plot a new gameplan

I've made a decision. And that is to quit my job by march next year. Work isnt as fun as it used to be anymore. It just doesnt feel like its worth all the trouble. I mean i know i should be thankful and everything for having this job. I work in a call center. The environment is fun, the pay is good but i'm just tired of being degenirated by stupid American, Indians, Latinos and the rest of them. I know i'm paid to be nice but I dont think I have to be stuck in it. I know exactly why Indians are now refusing call center jobs in India. I dont think i can stand another year listening and pretending to be emphatizing with people who doesnt even want to listen to me. I'm just sick of working for selfish reasons. Now the saying about money being not everything is really true.

I really think my life needs a major rehauling. I need a change of scene and a new direction. This means going back home and scratching a new gameplan. Right now i', just excited with the new things i'm gonna face again. I know it will be tough starting over but i'm ready for it. I'm excited to just go with the flow and explore everything.

Bring it on!

exs and google

i didnt have anything better to do so what did i do? i searched for my ex bfs in google. i used there full names to search for them and lo and behold! wow google really IS powerful!

so what did i find?

fling # 1 passed the nursing board exam and has five friendster accounts. and i know why... in one of his account he proudly shows the face of his girlfriend. i just know exactly where he brings her everytime. ive been there. i saw his face too. it reminds me how fucked up i was back then.

fling # 2's gf just had a baby. i remember his been wanting to have a baby which scared me to death. i knew then i had to be wary. So when he brought me to motel on the pretense of sending me to sleep i backed away. whew! close call. anyway i saw him once with his gf. she's a price to him im sure. i just hope he's learn to take responsibilities now unlike before. i hope he's stop acting like an asshole and learned to be a real man. i just hope he'll answer to the girl and their kid. it's a girl by the way. name's zachari. nice name. i think he mentioned it to me before.

funny thing is that when we where together the thought of him being with another girl would make me cry. when we parted ways i cried and thought how stupid i was to believe him and regretted crossing paths with him. now im crying in happiness, if he didnt let me go where would i be? so where ever you are dude just wanna say: THANK YOU FOR DUMPING ME!!!

My Idea oF Heaven

Funny coz i first came across this song when i checked out my ex bf's new girl's friendster account. this was the background song. anyway the song is nice makes you fall in love for no reason. Exactly the thing that makes a romantic poem as it is. It basically speaks about what one wishes for in love. The thing is sometimes i lost my faith in love. It just isnt true at times. But somehow time and time again Love would reclaim its place and makes you say "yeah its true".

I dont expect love to be perfect. For me loving is accepting things to be as they are and sticking inspite of the bad times. its when you both are walking hand in hand, no one dominating, no one going ahead, no one left behind...its about walking the journey together...

I never thought I'd get here
I was so far away
I didn't believe in love
Thought it was just a game people play
Everything changed when I met you
I touched your hand
You took my heart
And you led me to a better place
Just the two of us in the dark

This is my idea of Heaven lying here with you
This is my idea of Heaven nothing else I'd rather do
I never thought you'd get here
Why'd you make me wait?
But when I looked into your eyes
I recognized you were my fate
I'd been living in a lonely shell
With no windows to the world
How in God's name did you find
the lone star's loneliest girl?
This is my idea of Heaven lying here with you
This is my idea of Heaven nothing else I'd rather do
To feel you heart beating
To feel our lips meeting
This is my idea of Heaven ooooo
In Heaven love is everywhere
There is no pain there are no tears
In Heaven love lasts forever
It doesn't disappear
This is my idea of Heaven lying here with you
This is my idea of Heaven nothing else I'd rather do
To feel you heart beating
To feel our lips meeting
This is my idea of Heaven ooooo
This is my idea of Heaven lying here with you

My dad is MacGyver

Even before going green, recycling, and reusing became a byword my father was already into it. My dad is really obsessed about not bringing too much trash in the house so he made a shopping bag out of old denim jeans. Its very practical because we wont be lagging too many plasticbags around and we can refuse it as much as we can. And with the plastic bags that we managed to bring home, we keep them in one place for reuse later. Or one of my aunt would bring whatever we have saved and use it to wrap the fruits she sells.

Then there were the wooden toy cars he made for us. He'd gather the small wood remnants from somewhere or from his own projects and his saw and hammer it into very sturdy toy trucks. As for the wheels, he'd iether reuse those he found from somewhere or fasion it from old rubber flipflops. He'd then use left over paint to color it. And added mudguards and paltenumbers. It would then be an object of envy in the nieghborhood with kids who only had plastics for toy cars (which we couldnt afford by the way). They would'nt dare laugh at our toys coz if they would we'd challenge them to a mash up which we know their plastic toys wouldnt be able to withstand. I'll ask my dad to make one so i can take a photo of it and post it here.

And speaking of flipflops. We go around in flipflops and most of the time the what-ever-they-call-it that goes around your toes gets broken first. What'd he do? He replaced it with rope. How's that? It was really cool coz nobody else in the neighborhood had anything like that and we knew no matter how rocky the mountains we will be traversing it will never give way. Anyway i saw this summer of love eras photo of my dad he was wearing the same kind of flipflops that he fixed for us.

Then he brought us beach combing for discarded bottles, plastics and soda cans one early morning and then stocked it in our backyard. We gathered more of them then he sold it to a junkshop. What did we do with the money? we bought icecream!

My dad injected the diy blood in us and incouraged us to be resourceful by utilizing what ever is around us. He can make usefull things out of discarded things. That's why i say my dad is Macgyver.

i eat magazines

i love a lot of things: music, books, diy stuff, going out, people, serenity, magazines- i'm so crazy over magazines. is one of the reasons i wanted to get a job so i can support my magazine addiction. it used to be that i had to make do with back issues and secondhands. now i can buy the latest iss. These magazines are what i dig right now:

Entrepreneur Phils(Summit Media)
For feeding my fantasy for starting my own business. it's like moneyporn to me. Everytime i open it's pages i'd get high dreaming up about my shop that i plan to set up. Right now i'm saving and waiting for the right time to get started. To think that i used to tag business mags as boring. Entrep is really different from the rest. It gives you ideas on the ins and outs of the whole bz thing.

Real Living (Summit Media)
I love houses. I'm obsessed with them. House magazines make me salivate. I'd relegiously go to Filbars in Limkitkai in Cagayan de Oro to check if there are any back issues that i can buy. Back then the P125 price tag for a new issue is just to heavy for my pocket since i had to rely on lying to my mom. (sorry mom) Real Living got me started. Right now I buy other home magazines from Book Sale. But i still stick with RL. I just wish though that they'd restore including those seminal floorplans in their pages like they use to.

Why am I obsessed with houses? Probably because of that one traumatizing experience I had back in 5th grade. I had this dream of being in the middle of twisters. my lil bro Mark was trying to reach out to me as rains were pelting against my face and strongs winds trying to suck me in when i was suddenly woken up by the feeling of real rain against my face and the wet, soggy pile of clothes i was sleeping on. i heard my mom calling my name. I realized that i am wet like everything inside the room i was sleeping in. The roof was torned open by the strong winds. The next day I had to skip school to hang to dry the wet clothes and other stuff from the previous night. This is no sob story, this is funny.

Homestyle Phils (sorry i dont remember the publisher...)
This is a new home and art mag out in the market. I got attracted to its first iss because Celine Lopez was on the cover. I didnt regret it the contents are great. I bought the 2nd issue yesterday with Quark Henaris on the cover. I barely had it in my hands when the supervisor we trained with snap it up. That means i'll have to buy another set when he pays me up by the next payday. Its a nice mag. So high end and yet, like RL, doesnt make you feel like being discreminated against as just a "mere" reader. Love this new mag I wont be surprise if this will be very popular.

Juxtapoz (art mag)
I only have two copies of this mag which i bought from National Bookstore for 40 pesos each only. I visit the website (www.juxtapoz.com) from time to time This is my concept of modern art. Screensaver art bore's me. I like shocking things like those of Igan d'bayan whom i also admire as a columnist but that's another story. This mag makes me wish i can do art. By the way I love van Gogh's Starry Night.

Flip
The brainchild of Jessica Zafra, this now difunct magazine is one of my treasure finds. This is one heck of an inteligent magazine. I'm sad to know it folded. Too bad now that i can already afford to buy new issues. By the way I came across the mag while browsing Filbar's back issue racks. Filbars Cagayan de Oro really rocks. Filbars Cebu is kind of boring don't know why.

Preview
I bought back issues of this mag out of curiosity and because my entended buys weren't available from you know where. I thought fashion mags are boring and is equivalent to Avon catalogs, i was wrong. Preview is educational. I learned about Ivarluski Aseron and Kate Turralba and the like from its pages. You dont have to be a hardcore fashionista or a social climber to appreciate it. I still keep the old copies coz i notice they dont seem to go out of date.

So theres my shortlist for my fave magazines. Right now my rented room's floor is strewn with them. It'll be a long haul should i decide to quit my job here in Cebu and go back home to Mindanao. I buy art mags and home mags both local and imported from Booksale, they got a wide selection, quite affordable too.