boys (a poem)

I grew up with boys
I grew up wanting to be a boy
Until a boy unknowingly thought me how to be a girl
That same boy thought me the ecstasy of desire
And thought me the name of the Sayaws
As they hovered over us one rainy night

Another boy introduced me to Van Gogh
And made me wish I can be with him under
The Starry Night for even just once
I miss that boy though I’ve never seen him even once

The memories of them rekindled memories
Of boys who’s lives intertwined with mine for a moment or two

One taught me Rock
Another took advantage of my naïveté
One used to hunt me in a dream
A dream so true that it seems to be an unconscious memory
One made me think of growing old with him
An idea I thought would never cross my mind
One group of three made me wish I was one of them
And live a life of care free fun and girl free worries

I grew up with boys
I grew up wanting to be a boy
Until a boy unknowingly thought me how to be a girl
That same boy thought me the ecstasy of desire
And thought me the name of the Sayaws
As they hovered over us one rainy night

Another boy introduced me to Van Gogh
And made me wish I can be with him under
The Starry Night for even just once
I miss that boy though I’ve never seen him even once

Boys are boys
Boys maybe be wicked, chivalric, addictive, cunning
Boys are boys
I wanted to be one
Boys will be boys
I’ll never be one
Thank heavens