boys (a poem)

I grew up with boys
I grew up wanting to be a boy
Until a boy unknowingly thought me how to be a girl
That same boy thought me the ecstasy of desire
And thought me the name of the Sayaws
As they hovered over us one rainy night

Another boy introduced me to Van Gogh
And made me wish I can be with him under
The Starry Night for even just once
I miss that boy though I’ve never seen him even once

The memories of them rekindled memories
Of boys who’s lives intertwined with mine for a moment or two

One taught me Rock
Another took advantage of my naïveté
One used to hunt me in a dream
A dream so true that it seems to be an unconscious memory
One made me think of growing old with him
An idea I thought would never cross my mind
One group of three made me wish I was one of them
And live a life of care free fun and girl free worries

I grew up with boys
I grew up wanting to be a boy
Until a boy unknowingly thought me how to be a girl
That same boy thought me the ecstasy of desire
And thought me the name of the Sayaws
As they hovered over us one rainy night

Another boy introduced me to Van Gogh
And made me wish I can be with him under
The Starry Night for even just once
I miss that boy though I’ve never seen him even once

Boys are boys
Boys maybe be wicked, chivalric, addictive, cunning
Boys are boys
I wanted to be one
Boys will be boys
I’ll never be one
Thank heavens

Boardinghouse Specialties

This morning I took to looking back to my college years in Malaybalay, Bukidnon. I stayed in a boardinghouse while I was there. One of the things I remember is the food we cooked up while holed up there on a weekly budget of 500 pesos. I’m luckier compared to some who gets less. With such a limited budget one is forced to find ways to eat decently and still have money to spare for other student escapades. Right now I’ll share with you the recipes that made us survive. I just cooked two of them for our lunch today. These recipes don’t have formal names but they came out of student resourcefulness and are quite delectable for starving and budget-constrained boardinghouse master chiefs and cooks.

The objective of these recipes is that the ingredients must be cheap and can be easily sourced. And can get done in five to then minutes or less. Go ahead and try it. Feel free to tweak the ingredients or to use MSG if you can’t live without it. The point is for you to be able to eat beyond the usual fair of bought viand from the friendly carenderia, instant noodles, fried egg or “invisible chicken”. If you’re wondering what the latter is. Its simple. Just boil water and throw in a Knorr Chicken cube. And walah! The amazing Invisible chicken to go with your 1 cup of rice.


Scrambled Ampalaya

1 egg
1 medium sized ampalaya thinly sliced
1 spring onion
Oil
Salt

1. Heat oil in a pan. Suite onion. Sprinkle salt.
2. Throw in ampalaya. Don’t add water. Lower heat. Cover pan. Let ampalaya be cooked by its own steam.
3. Add a pinch of salt. If you have some spare powdered black pepper, add some too.
4. Pour beaten egg.
5. Stir constantly and thoroughly until evenly cooked. Don’t let egg to stick to pan. Remove from fire.


Sardines with Egg

1 egg
1 can Spicy sardines
Salt
Oil
Onion
Garlic

1. Mash sardines with spoon. Add beaten egg and a pinch of salt. Scramble. Set aside.
2. In a heated pan suite onion and garlic in oil.
3. Add a pinch of salt or to taste.
4. Throw in the scrambled egg and crushed sardines.
5. Stir concoction constantly. Mix sure nothing will stick to pan. Until evenly cooked. Remove from pan.

Tortang Kalabasa

1 egg
Mashed kalabasa from some left over (or boil some if you have enough time)
Corn starch
Soy sauce
Ketchup (for dip)


1. Pre-heat oil in pan.
2. Mix mashed kalabasa, scrambled egg, soy sauce, and corn starch evenly.
3. Fry.



Corned beef and Potatoes

1 small can of corned beef
Potatoes sliced in tiny cubes
Oil
Onion
Salt

1. Suite Onion and cubed potatoes in oil, add some water if you wish, until potato is done.
2. Add corned beef. Mix and stir until done.
3. Throw in some onion rings.

Tortang Left-Over Noodles

Left-over noodles or instant pancit canton from lat night’s dinner
1 egg
Oil
Salt

1. Mix left-over noodles with scrambled egg.
2. Add a pinch of salt.
3. Fry.

Tortang Okra (My personal contribution)

Thinly, diagonally sliced okra
Egg
Salt
Oil

1. Mix Okra and scrambled egg.
2. Add salt.
3. Fry.

And our take at the very nutritious pinakbet:

Pinakbet Boardinghouse Style

One pack pre-sliced and mixed vegetables for pinakbet(We used to buy one pack at 5pesos each)
1 pack Instant Pancit Canton (Extra Hot for me)
Water
Salt
Oil
Onion
Garlic
Soy sauce

1. Heat oil. Suite garlic and onion.
2. Stir in vegetables.
3. Add water and soy sauce. Cover until cooked.
4. When vegetables starts to resemble a decent pinakbet add the Instant Pancit Canton. Simmer.
5. Remove from fire.
6. Prepare the Pancit canton seasoning. Mix in the pinakbet and canton mixture.

Misua and Tinapa

2 packs misua (the one-piso-each-pack variety)
1 can Sardines (separate sauce from fish)
water
Ginger
Salt
Onion

1. Together with sardine’s sauce, salt, ginger and onion allow water to boil
2. Add misua and fish. Sprinkle salt. Allow to simmer. Remove from fire.


Fried Bagyo Beans

I haven’t tried this recipe but I got this from my male boardmates.

Bagyo beans
Scrambled egg
Oil

1. Preheat oil in a pan.
2. Dip bagyo beans in scrambled egg.
3. Fry.

Tortang Kamatis

Finely chopped tomatoes
Egg, scrambled
Oil
Salt

1. Mix finely chopped tomatoes, egg and salt.
2. Fry.


Crunchy Noodle Cookies

1 pack instant noodles
Egg
Salt.

1. Preheat oil.
2. Break noodles into small pieces.
3. Mix with scrambled egg. Add salt.
4. Fry.

of quiting and regretting

there are a lot of stuff we spewed out, which can be blamed in part to to our naivete and the stupidity that comes with being a kid. stuff that sometimes make us cringe, or other times make us laugh at the sheer stupidity of it all. i think though it depends on what part of the day, the weather...stuff like that...sometimes you wonder if it could be the devil holding up to your face the reflecting mirror of the past...its makes me mutter courses under my breath, makes my wanna shout in anger at no one in particular...
the thing is i've said and done a lot of stuff like trusting the wrong people, saying the wrong things at the wrong time, making the wrong moves..mistakes that make us human... i realized that no matter how stuped those things maybe at least i learned something. and i get relief at the thought that its only natural...that for deciding against living under a rock this is merely one of the consolations Life throws at you...
as i look back i regret some stuff but i realized its wrong... regret is useless...i wouldnt help me at all...all i need it acceptance and forgiveness. accept that it happened and forgive myself for it...thats the one and only choice i have or allow myself to be destroyed by useless memories...

as the days go by...

i had a boring day today so i decided to go online..and what did i find out?
it really shocked me but one of my barkadas in college got married recently (dang she didnt even send me an invite)..anyway its really shocking sometimes coz this means we're growing old man...

i just saw the photos in friendster.com. it used to be that we were barely out of high school. and the funny thing was that some of our school mates actually thought we were into some lisbian relationship. ewwww. i mean i dont judge others who egnage in it but us?no way...anyway we've moved on since then...i wish all the best for her...

view from my hammock

i'm jobless and pennyless

but i'm taking my time

i'm taking it easy

there's no hurry

just go with the flow

i say...

views from my hammock

i quit.yes i finally quit my job and i couldnt be more happier! i thought i'd be sad but i'm not. I actually think i shouldve quit earlier....
I'm back at home and can go get a swim anytime i want, do what ever i wanna do. I'm back to begging for money from my mom but that's ok.right now i'm figuring out what steps take up next. right now i'm just taking it slowly. I still have to take care of a lot of things and i have plans but i'm in no hurry right now.... oh yeah!

THIS HAS TO STOP NOW!!!!

The uproar have ceased. Its all back to normal for this sick people. The news have moved on and so does for this murderers and liars. This people have terrorized the island of Dinagat. They have murdered and got away with it because these assholes are being protected by the corrupt politicians who care for nothing but the sure votes they will get from this cult's blinded members. Some who cant get out of thier clutches for fear of bloody retribution. A lot of people have gone a lot of horrors but where the heck is the government who sworns to fight for their behalf?

And the sickest part of all is that this people were actually given their own province!?How the heck do you think will they run it?

When will the world take notice again? when will the government take action? when will WE see their end?

.....

....

goodbyes
.
verbal equevalent to the period
.
end
.
if a period is a sign of an ended sentence
.
goodbye is the word for a friendship
.
forever to be changed by distance
.
of loves broken forever to be nothing
.
but wasted memory
.
period
.
a tiny insignificant dot
.
goodbye
.
a seven-letter not so insignificant word
.
let slide
.
comprehend it
.
let it sink in
.
goodbye
.
G O O D B Y E
.

POSER

To Nanay Toria

My beloved maternal grandmother passed away last February fifteen. I was a bleak day for us but we knew she is in a better place now. For her eulogy I was tasked to read a causin's poem. I've admired my Nanay ever since but looking back now made me admire her even more.

She was a strong willed woman. She believed in independence, in men and women being equal. She taught her children especialy the girls, to be self-reliant. In short she was a feminist without knowing it.

I remember i've been wanting to visit Bohol for a long time but I just didnt have the guts to go there without company. But last Monday 03/02 i decided to take the plunge. It's now or never. By Tuesday, after work I went straight to the Pier and bought a ticket for Bohol. I wasnt alone though, I brought my boyfriend along as a gift for his birthday. That was his first time to visit a place outside Cebu. Why the guts? I took into my heart Nanay's principle: If you have the guts nothing is imposible.

So there we were. Clueless about how to get around the island. Relying only on officemates serving as text tour guides. It was fun. We payed a habal-habal driver from Tubigon to take us around the island. My body is aching right now but its worth it all. All this i dedicate to the strong, proud spirit of my grandmother.

another light bulb in my head..

i'm fond of going to second hand bookshops like BookSale. There I dig through their bin full of magazines to look for interesting and informative magazines. As I've stated before, I'm a mag addict... My latest finds are mostly crafting mags... Like CRAFTZINE and CLOTH.PAPER.SCISSORS ... the photo of my copies are shown here. The mags pushed me to do more things craft-related. Looking at the mag stimulates creative juices in me. When my dgcam is fixed i'll be able to post my creations here.

And the funny thing is that its only when I came across these mags that I realized the thing I was doing with old books, altering them, had a name and that its actually considered an art. Since having the books i'm challenged to make my journal more beautiful and cooler

WARNING: They are not the type your grandma digs.. they are cool and simply stimulating. Ultra modern yet timeless. Too bad though I couldnt seem to find them in our bookstores for up to date editions..but if I could find one, maka afford kaya ko?

WHAT THA!!!!

When i started posting this blog I never really thought someone would read it so i dont really pay any attention to details or reread my post before publishing it but shocks!!! When i checked on it today I had no less than THE Ambeth Ocampo commenting on my entry about his books. Damn it was full of grammatical error and wrong spellings! (My entry I mean and not Prof Ocampo's comments.)Yikes! I edited the whole things and replaced some words and restructured some...

Anyway I do hope he'll produce more books. I'll be one o fthe first people to line up and buy it.

I'm still giddy with the comment and at the thought that he came across my posting on his books... hehehe...

I'm starstrucked.... obviously.

Buy me this book pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee.....