its been a long time since i last posted an entry on this blog. and i know also that aside from me no else reads this thing. and that's okay. this is like my diary and the nicest thing is that i dont even have to bother hiding it. will anyways...
work has been tidious that i have to bring books by bob ong and jesica zafra to work. i'm just so sick of dealing with irate americans regarding their blocked credit cards. reading helps me through, eating makes me numb out the lonliness and guilt, buying makes me flix my purchasing power, magazines brings me to a high, this blog makes me satisfy my power tripping.
i'm a heck of a wierd person. i have a lot of grime hidden. i sometimes feel seething hate towards myself for all the things i do which i shouldnt but i guess thats normal. and anyway right now im seeking a way out of myself...( am i even making sense?) maybe i'm just slightly burnt out or maybe i'm being the fickle minded kid that i was (and still am?) again.
i have friends who will eventually leave this place and go to some other places they've never seen. i'll eventually see their travels over at friendster...but how about me? *sigh* i dont even want to think about it. i'm scared again. and i just realize also that i'm weak. i've always thought i was strong i realize i'm not. i am weak and was just so good at having the air of someone who's not.
i want to be someone like bob ong or jesica zafra. smart people who make sense. i want to be someone who is worth listening to i guess. i'm just dreaming
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